The best thing about sex toys is that you can pretty much use them in whatever way brings you pleasure. It’s your body, so you get to pick what toys to use and how: the shape, the type of touch, the intensity, the location, and a lot more. It’s like the world’s most pleasurable choose-your-own-adventure journey and avoid sex toys mistakes.
However, there are a few precautions to take when you use sex toys and some general ground rules that can make sure you have an even better time. So, if you use sex toys or are planning to start, here are a few sex toys mistakes you don’t want to make.
1. You don’t wash them correctly or enough (or at all).
Proper toy hygiene and storage are important for the longevity of your toy and your own safety. Using a dirty and deteriorated toy is honestly just impolite to your genitals—and it can theoretically also leave you at risk for health issues like urinary tract infections if bacteria on a toy makes its way into your urethra. It’s not like you’ll definitely wind up with a UTI if you don’t clean your best adult sex toys, but keeping things sanitary does lower the chances of anything like this happening.
The right way to clean a sex toys depends on a few factors, including the material of the toy and whether or not it’s battery-operated.
All that said, everyone gets lazy. Sometimes after you’ve finished with a sex toys, the last thing you want to do is hop up and clean it. Yes, it requires more clean-up, but it can also have a seriously great payoff. More on that in a bit.
2. You automatically go for the most popular toy.
People come and ask which toy sells best all the time.While it’s a totally fair question for curiosity’s sake, popularity shouldn’t completely dictate which toy you use.
“A sex toy isn’t like a cell phone where if you have the one that does all the things and has all the features, it’s going to be best.”
That doesn’t mean that you can’t get advice on what toy to get. If a certain toy is wildly popular, it’s likely for good reason. But as a starting point, it makes more sense to ask about the most well-loved toys for what you’re into specifically. Ask about (or research) the best toys for someone who likes really intense clit stimulation or deep, heavy penetration, or whatever it is you enjoy in bed. If you’re not sure exactly what you like, it may make sense to experiment a bit on your own before investing in a toy.
3. You only use toys by yourself.
There’s often a weird shame about bringing toys into partnered sex. Some people worry that a toy is there as a “replacement” or to make up for some sort of performance inadequacy. But it doesn’t have to be related to anything like that.
Even if you have no trouble orgasming without a toy—or want to take the focus off orgasms as we mentioned—toys can still enhance something that’s already pleasurable. Sex toys can be like delicious toppings an already really good scoop of ice cream. “Yes, ice cream is delicious by itself, but today I want some with chocolate and a cherry on top just to change it up, to add a little bit of texture and flavour.”
4. Assuming Sex Toys are Just For Solo Play.
Engle can’t emphasize it enough: Sex toys are not just for solo play! In fact, she says that using toys with partners can help you feel closer, make you feel more adventurous and overall improve orgasm quality. “Humans are incredibly curious creatures and being able to explore that curiosity with a sex partner is a magical, bonding thing.”
5. Thinking a Sex Toy Thinking a Sex Toy can Replace a Person
This is one of the biggest sex toys mistakes Engle sees in her work. Sex toys are not a one-to-one replacement for another person or meant to replace the intimacy of having sex with another human; they are there to enhance sex and offer unique sexual experiences. So yes, sex toys are great for your alone time, but just remember, your vibrator can’t hold you when you cry about your childhood cat.